Kool-Aid Drinkers & The Fake War On Xmas

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and joyous greetings to whatever spiritual-laden freak-flag you happen to fly.
The Christmas rant:
Did you know that there's a War On Christmas™ being waged? Yeah, me neither, but the folks over at Faux News (especially, longtime blowhard and all around gas bag, Bill O'Reilly - whoops, that's Fox News. Ya know, the network that's fair & balanced [cough, cough...]- would like you to think that Christmas has been targeted for annihilation by the ACLU and other dirty, rotten, liberal-leaning, atheist hippies. Problem is, like so much of everything propagated by the neocons, it's all so much bullshit. Apparently, when they're too busy to check facts, they just make up stuff wholesale. Look, it's all just a big bait -n- switch designed to distract people from the realities of the day - namely the disingenuous effluvia emanating from the White House on a daily basis. With all the revelations of illegal behavior by the White House being uncovered on an almost daily basis during the past several weeks, it's no wonder that the Kool-Aid-drinking, neocon apology machine is kicking it into overdrive with an aggressive propaganda campaign designed to distract the populace with something, anything other then the reality of the situation.

Thankfully, the ACLU hasn't lost its sense of humor despite being targeted by all the usual suspects. Check out their satirical take on all the hoo-haw, below.

Christmas raves:

Thanks to FOX News and highly credible voices like StoptheACLU.org, the news is out that ACLU has declared War on Christmas.

It's true. In fact, I have just returned from our War Room where ACLU's brightest minds are spending this final weekend before the holiday plotting to kill Christmas. Atop every mountain we've secretly placed an army of green grinches prepared to sled down on Christmas morning into towns across America to steal presents from toddlers.

Don't believe it? I tell you I've seen the secret grinch training facilities.

The War Room for Operation Kill Christmas lies in a bunker deep underground. That's also where we keep all our Communists. I know most of you thought Communism was dead after the fall of the Berlin Wall. It's not true. They're all huddled deep underground in our secret ACLU bunker.

It was the Communists, in fact, perhaps predictably, who came up with the idea of taking the War on Christmas to the next level involving actual armed struggle.

You heard it here first: ACLU plans to assassinate Santa Claus.

Here's an amusing little rant from Philly's CityPaper that I'm including in the rave section.

Apparently the GOP, busy fighting its Global War on Terror and its concomitant War on the Geneva Conventions as well as the ancillary War on Organized Labor, is making time to fight a rearguard battle against the War on Christmas. Michelle Malkin and like-minded nativity-worshippers everywhere are said to be besieged on all sides by the encroaching forces of secularism, Judaism, Muhammadism and assorted other malign "isms" seeking to overthrow the rightful hegemony of the American consumerist celebration of Christ's birth.

The biggest pitched battle of this war, the Christian Stalingrad if you will, is over the two magical words "Merry Christmas." Angry Republicans, not content with controlling all three branches of government, as well as a majority of state governorships, are cowering in fear that their beloved December blessing will be expunged in favor of the anodyne "Happy Holidays," which, translated into radical conservative, means "Abort the babies, marry the gays, empower the feminazis and replace Charlie Brown's Christmas with Harry Potter and the Satanic Paganist's Stone."

I regret to report the failure of this left-wing plot to install Maoist holiday values in place of those traditions derived from Christ's valiant fight for expanded department store hours on the eve of his birth. Just this past Sunday afternoon, at a Jesus Day gathering on my block, local left-wing agitators masquerading as residents of Philadelphia wished me a "Merry Christmas." I stared them down to draw out the obvious hipster irony with which they delivered this besieged holiday bromide, but found only deadpan seriousness.

Merry Christmas, folks. And please, drink all the egg nog you'd like, just stay away from the Kool-Aid...